And the World Shall Forget You

[Zach Kaiser]

When Eld came back with the blanket, he was more than a little surprised to see Etsu in just her underwear. He'd mostly expected her to reject the idea out of hand. But there she was...proving that his "no worse than swimwear" line wasn't as accurate as he thought it was. He flushed deeply. "G-Guess you're okay with it, then," he murmured.

He couldn't keep from looking, but he did manage to be a bit of a gentleman in that he handed her the blanket before doing anything else. After that, he grabbed Etsu's clothes (which she just threw on the ground, naturally) and hung them on a nearby branch.

He actually grateful to be able to take off his shirt; the tightness combined with it being soaked made it extra uncomfortable to wear. The next part he was less sure of, but it wasn't like he had any right complain at this juncture. It was his idea, and Etsu'd already done it. Taking a deep breath, he undid his jeans and took them off, hanging them up next to his shirt and Etsu's clothes.

There was a large difference between swim trunks and boxers, he realized belatedly. Swim trunks were very loose on the wearer, meant to hide just about any sign of what they were meant to cover. Boxers...weren't.

He could only hope Etsu didn't stare as much as he had at her as he slid under the blanket next to her.

[Nayt]

"Ariga--" Etsu began as she accepted the blanket from Eld, but was cut off shortly thereafter . . .

Etsu looked up to him once, and then promptly tried not to again. It was . . . yes, he was wearing a lot less clothing now than he was when they went swimming with everyone else awhile back. And she was a lot more revealing than she had hoped, too. It was when she quickly averted her eyes from Eld that she realized this, which immediately prompted her to wrap half the blanket around her shoulders and do the very best she possibly could to cover the front of her body with it. Etsu didn't know if Eld had looked at her or not, but she wasn't taking any chances.

The other half of the blanket lay by her side, where Eld could reclaim his seat next to her and take the rest of the blanket for himself.

And now she especially had no idea what was to happen next. She anticipated something, but hadn't the slightest idea what that might be-- only that it'd include skin to skin contact, and the whole notion of that made her feel exceptionally nervous.

[Zach Kaiser]

If it weren't for the fact that, unlike in the sun by the beach, it was genuinely pretty cold here in the shady forest, he might have called the whole thing off and suggested they simply deal with being a bit chilly as they dried. But he didn't want them getting sick, and they'd already come too far to get cold feet about it now.

So he decided to speak up, even if more and more the reason for his ideas was less about how practical it was. "T-The more contact we have, the faster we'll dry," he pointed out, trying to sound as if that was all he was thinking of and any other benefits were something out of his conjecture.

To that end, he put an arm around her and attempted to draw her closer--though gently enough that if she wanted she could easily resist his pull. But if she didn't, then a side effect would be that their faces would be once again quite close to one another.

[Nayt]

The whole time it took Eld to sit by Etsu's side, Etsu still did her absolute best to not look at him. She did hear him, though. And again, she was filled with uncertainty. They were really going to be pushing a few more barriers, weren't they? Which barriers exactly, she hadn't the slightest clue.

"I-- I sup--" she began, but again found herself cut off by another occurrence which she had no control over.

That is, she found herself looking up at Eld's face again, once more only inches from it. She was lower than him this time, if only because he wasn't quite pinning her to the ground and height once again took part in their affair. Whether it was a good thing or not, this made it especially easier to stare at Eld's lips . . .

Beyond just that, though, was the fact that Eld's skin was exceptionally warm for how cold they were. It was likewise unexpectedly soft. Etsu never foresaw herself setting a hand on Eld's belly, but without thinking it, she had-- if only for balance, right? She was pulled halfway onto his lap, after all. She had to balance herself somehow. And her subconscious decision making had absolutely nothing to do with how warm he was, and how nice it felt to actually set her hand upon this boy's bare skin.

[Zach Kaiser]

Normally, such a simple gesture would have hardly phased him, and he wouldn't have thought twice about it. But in the current situation, in their current state, feeling Etsu place her hand on his stomach made his breath catch for a moment. It was as though all his nerves were especially sensitive to anything she did, regardless of her intent.

With her hand against him, and situated half on his lap as she was, and with their face mere inches apart, it was inevitable that Eld would lean down and close the scant space to kiss her once more. He placed his hands on her bare sides, ostensibly for support or warmth but in reality simply because right now he wanted more contact with her.

[Nayt]

Etsu hesitated at first, backed her head away from his by an inch when he closed in the gap, and felt a horrible feeling in her chest when she did-- a worse feeling than when Eld nearly kissed her. So in her hesitation, she searched Eld's eyes and lips and ultimately felt a likewise urge to lean into him. For what felt like minutes, but what was in actuality half a second, she trailed her hand up his chest until she could touch the side of the neck, and it was then that she simultaneously leaned up and pulled his head down, to place her lips against his once more.

It was . . . well, it was different than the last time. Maybe it was because more of their body was touching. Maybe it was because Eld had his hands on her hips. But either way, she was a lot more nervous this time. A lot more hesitant to continue, but in the end, it seemed she'd given in to the part of her heart that willed this to continue. The part of her that wouldn't take no for an answer.

[Zach Kaiser]

When Etsu pulled away, Eld at first thought he'd misread the situation somehow and made a terrible mistake. But then she trailed her hand up his body to his neck, and pulled him into another kiss, and all doubts were again erased. It did not occur to him that Etsu, too, may have some reservations.

But whatever reservations Eld had paled in comparison to his attraction and confused affection for the girl, as well as another force that twisted his stomach into knots, one that he couldn't identify...

Consciously, Eld was focused entirely on Etsu's lips. Her kisses may have been inexperienced, but they were no less enthusiastic. And whether she was aware of it or not, she was a quick learner.

What he wasn't focused on were his hands, or more specifically that while one of them was around her back, gently holding her to him and keeping her stable, the other one had moved from her side to her stomach, and was slowly beginning to climb.

[Nayt]

Held so close to him, Etsu felt a number of things. Too much to really take any of them individually into account. Too much to follow any personal advice from the heart. All she could do was continue as she was, pressed up against this boy where she could kiss him freely. One of those sensations did alert her, though. Mildly. Eld was running his hand up her belly, and while logically she should've seen where that was going, she wasn't thinking ahead much anymore. All Etsu knew was that she felt a chill run down her spine.

And then, rather quickly, she started to feel that twinge of regret again. Still, it was fairly weak, but it was without a doubt there. Except rather than regretting what must have been a spiraling descent into immorality, she regretted how her decisions must have affected someone else . . .

But . . . who? Was it Eld?

Despite that feeling in her gut, Etsu did nothing to pull away from Eld's kisses or put a stop to his advances. She instead tried to forget that she ever had that gut feeling in the first place.

[Zach Kaiser]

If Eld had been thinking, perhaps he would have thought twice before continuing. Thought about whether or not this was where he wanted their relationship to go, or what said relationship actually was, or thought about any of the consequences of going much further. But thought was something he was having difficulty with, thought beyond the lips of the beautiful girl on his lap, anyway.

As it was, he didn't even notice when his hand left skin and met cloth instead, or that said cloth was protruding out significantly from where his hand was before. And so he ended up lightly grabbing Etsu's breast through her bra, unconsciously encouraged by the lack of resistance along the way. He didn't give it any conscious thought, and probably wouldn't until she reacted to it one way or another...

[Nayt]

H-he was . . . his hand was . . .

Somewhere deep in Etsu's mind, she had the sudden and inexplicable urge to scream. Eld was touching her in a way she'd never imagined someone ever would. The thought simply never crossed her mind. Intimacy was something her thoughts often skipped. She regarded that boys often wanted it, but there was a progression of events in her mind that conflicted with this. Made this new somehow. First, two people were married. Second, they fell in love. Third, they started a family. The whole intimacy step was skipped in her mind, and now here it was, completely out of place.

Etsu dragged her hand down from Eld's neck to his shoulder, another act stemming from the squirm of her whole body when she felt Eld's first touch. She squirmed her legs, incidentally rubbing her thighs up against him, drew one hand down, drew another hand up to hold onto his hip tightly, and let out a small sound, something high pitched like a whimper, but too quiet to be taken all that seriously.

Which created a problem, because one of her first instincts was to pull away. Pushing her thighs against him, squeezing on his hip, putting a hand on her shoulder . . . she was going to use it all as leverage to pull away from Eld. But that never happened. In part, it had to do with her still developing thoughts-- her attempts at figuring out who she was so worried about, and why when she narrowed it down to one person, she still felt so wrong. Maybe it was two. Regret continued to build. Faster now, but Eld might never realize that.

She should've stopped kissing him, though. That would've helped everyone out in the end, but for all her reservations, there was still another vastly underdeveloped feeling of want. Want of something. Normality? Stability, more than likely. The same stability that came from a well organized marriage, arranged or otherwise. And it was that which continued to pour oils on the fire of regret.

[Zach Kaiser]

He was not privy to her thoughts; he could only go by what she did. And her reaction, from his perspective, was to make a small noise and hold him tighter, pressing against him with her thighs. It was not a reaction that indicated regret or even reluctance, either of which he may have been able to pick up on.

And in turn this caused a reaction from him: he made a small noise of his own, the hand on her chest gripping her a little firmer, and the hand on her hip pulling her a little tighter against him.

That this might have somehow been wrong was a thought locked far away in the back of his mind, drowned out by the both physical sensations and the emotional need to try and test and see just what his relationship with Etsu actually was.

[Nayt]

He held her hard, he held her tight. He pulled her closer and gripped her chest, moaned and made sure she wasn't going anywhere all in the same go. It was a great surprise to Etsu, prompting the girl to let out a louder sound of surprise--one muffled by their kissing.

This demanded that she stop kissing Eld, though. She needed a moment. She needed a breather. Etsu tried to force just that, but with all the want to let this continue-- let Eld continue --Etsu wound up drawing away slowly. She pulled away from Eld's lips, broke away from kissing him, and did the very best she could to avoid his lips. She gently pushed her face over, brushed her cheek against his, and set with her face close to his neck.

She was breathless, speechless, and at a loss for what to do next. She felt a dozen and a half things right now, and the fact that Eld's manners here would have been perfectly accepted under better circumstances did not aid her in deterring her confusion. And the way she had gently pulled away from him, brushed her face to the side of his, and breathed on his neck whilst trying to catch her lost breath certainly wasn't going to help Eld realize Etsu's apprehensions, either.

[Zach Kaiser]

While Etsu's noise and kiss might have otherwise alerted him that something was amiss in her mind, the fact that she followed it by leaning in and breathing heavily upon his neck completely reversed her intended effect.

Eld's breath caught at the sensation of her warm breath; all signs pointed to Etsu, rather than having serious reservations about continuing, in fact wanting this to go on. Believing himself to be fulfilling her desires, he took advantage of the position to plant a long kiss on Etsu's neck. And it did not end there; he trailed kisses down her neck to her collarbone, and then on to her shoulder, and then back up and past again to just below her ear, and even lightly nibbled on her earlobe a little. And all the while the hand on her chest got more bold, beginning to squeeze and release regularly, and then massaging and kneading.

This continued for an amount of time he could not easily determine. Etsu was, all told, an extremely attractive girl, and while he wasn't sure precisely what they were to each other, that he had an emotional attachment to her was undeniable. While his doubts steadily grew--for while he received no resistance, there was little to no reciprocation either--his desire grew further.

And once his desire outgrew his doubts by far enough, he finally grew conscious of that piece of cloth that his hand was pressing against...but only as an obstruction. So he began to slide his hand under her bra, to touch her breast directly.

[Nayt]

The second she felt Eld place a kiss on her neck, Etsu felt a warmth rush over her that was only felt before when she first kissed him. She may not have reciprocated, but she fell into him. She lost the tension in her muscles and leaned all of her weight into him. She might as well have held him. Desire returned. A want for him to continue, a want that grew with time, with each kiss up from her shoulder to her ear. Something broke. Some barrier in her subconscious. At least one apprehension was completely disregarded.

And as soon as that came to be, the feeling of Eld's hand on her chest and how he squeezed upon her breast actually began to feel agreeable.

Were it not for one last apprehension, everything would have continued as is. She'd have let it come to pass, because it finally began to feel good in the same physical way that Eld experienced. He'd convinced her that she may very well have wanted him to touch her more. But there was that last issue, one that skyrocketed in priority. Not because it was the final problem she had with their impromptu coupling, but because she was genuinely beginning to enjoy it. Regret. Guilt. Realization, in fact.

Because it wasn't a person in particular that forced such guilt upon her. She owed no one anything anymore. Eld and Etsu were both single. Etsu's mother left her, and she'd have gone to great lengths to disappoint her step-father further if she could. She'd have let this continue, she'd have gone into the tent, and over the course of several months, she and Eld would have breached every barrier a relationship could offer. They'd have become a couple, they'd have been inseparable, they'd have made love, and within a year, they'd have conceived a child. And then they'd be married. She'd return home, she'd tell her step-father, and she'd leave. She'd throw convention to the wind and spend the rest of her life with this boy.

Over the course of it all, Etsu pictured it all perfectly. It was like looking into the future, except she knew one thing that put a dent in it all. Not in the potential of it all, but in how horrible it would be now to try to lay claim to Eld's heart.

After all, Etsu had no claim to his heart. That already belonged to someone else.

It was the cruelest realization of all.

Soon enough, Eld wriggled his hand under her bra . . . and that was it. There was only a few seconds of it, a moment where Eld had the opportunity to touch and squeeze her chest without the protection of cloth, time which Etsu spent in a state of shock. That someone had gone that far with her. That she liked it. That they were breaching a barrier that she wasn't okay with anymore, but not for morals anymore. Later, perhaps, if all things went as Eld would have liked, she'd have experienced a morally trying moment in her life-- but no. A wave of guilt washed over her. Desire was subjugated; logic came to the forefront, and she pulled away from Eld; put her hands on his shoulders and pushed until there was at least two feet of space between there bodies and it was very clear that she needed him to stop.

[Zach Kaiser]

All at once everything came to a halt. Etsu pushed away from him, incidentally lightly pushing him back into the tree as well, and for several moments he sat there in stunned silence.

And then the full realization of what they were doing--and more prominently where it would have likely led--hit him. "Etsu, I..." But he didn't know what to say. His feelings for Etsu, rather than becoming clearer, had only gotten more muddled. It was a mix of attraction, friendship, empathy, a familial bond (which set off a whole cascade of feelings in itself), obligation, curiosity, rivalry...and now guilt and regret.

It didn't even begin to touch on that he knew he already liked another girl, or that he was still a bit hurt and confused by said girl not wanting to see him at all, and being unsure that she honestly ever would.

In the end, it was a feeling of shame that drove him to spoke above all else. Shame because he'd always believed himself better than this, better than trying to make moves on a girl so quickly, regardless of the situation. He wasn't the type of person that would ignore his better judgment, or so he thought. And how he'd probably hurt a person he cared about (even if he wasn't sure exactly how).

"I...I'm sorry," he intoned, staring at his lap. Right now, he couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye.