Dreams of the Tempest

[Zach Kaiser]

"Of course," he replied, surprised at the question. The look on her face, though, told him far more than her question. She seemed so...lost. He felt the urge to wrap her in his arms, but he stopped himself; the way she'd reacted to him recently, he didn't want to do anything that would upset her.

"I-I've been worried about you. Are...are you alright? Lately, when I'm around, you..." He trailed off, unable to finish because he didn't actually know what it was, only that it caused her to avoid him.

[Nayt]

Eld was here. Eld was really here. Akizets wanted to reach back and hold onto him, but that didn't feel right. She'd have been breaking a boundary she herself created. She wanted to answer his question and tell him how she was feeling, but wording that was difficult. It felt impossible, even. The most she could do right now was answer another question, one Eld didn't intend to be an inquiry, but one Akizets felt the need to address and clear the air on . . .

". . . y-yeah, umm . . ." Akizets trailed off, "I've . . . I've really . . ."

And once more, she found herself at a loss for words. There was little that could describe how she'd been acting around Eld. She was neither cruel nor mean to him, but she'd still treated him wrongly.

"I've been a real, um . . ." she stumbled over her words, both verbally and within her own mind. There was only one word to describe how she felt about herself and the way she'd been treating Eld, though, as much as she didn't want to say it. "I-- I've been a real bitch to you, h-- haven't I?"

Coming from anyone else, that might have been mild. Sarah, for instance, cursed like a sailor. Emily, too, had a particularly foul mouth. Even Maya said curse words every now and then. The only friend Eld had that didn't utter a single foul word during the entirety of their friendship, even when she was really upset with someone-- her brother, that is --was Akizetsumei.

[Zach Kaiser]

"N-No!" Eld protested. "You've been going through a lot, right? It isn't your fault." The way Toushikyo had talked about what he was going through, it sounded like his life was a living hell; and he hadn't even touched upon the "dreaming" business he'd mentioned before leaving the other day. If Akizetsumei was going through something comparable...

The full weight of the situation suddenly hit Eld; that this wasn't the same as simply coming down with a cold or even the flu. This was the kind of thing that could wreck a person's life, and it was happening to a girl he cared a lot for. All because...

A pained expression crossed his face. "I'm sorry," he said suddenly. "I took you to that graveyard. If anything, I deserve worse."

[Nayt]

"Wha . . .?" she whispered, at first surprised.

This soon sent sparks through the girl's nerves, though, and alerted Akizets to the gravity of Eld's conscience. She turned to face him with a second thought.

"N-no! No, it's-- it's--" she cried meekly.

Akizets was sounding like Etsu now, meek and quiet. Her voice was subdued by many things, but mostly an unwillingness to speak. The more time she spent around Eld, the worse she felt . . . and it truly had nothing to do with Eld. He'd done nothing wrong at all.

"It's not your fault. P-- please don't think that. Please don't think it's your fault!" Akizets exclaimed, a little louder this time. "It's-- it's all me. It's all . . ."

[Zach Kaiser]

Eld shook his head insistently. "No, it isn't your fault." How could he blame her? He knew she didn't choose to go through this; he knew she didn't act the way she did around him out of any ill will toward him.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, making sure to look her in the eye. "Akizetsumei, you can't help what you're going through. You shouldn't blame yourself for it." There was nothing she could do that could make him feel any kind dislike for her; he might get sad and hurt when she couldn't stand to be around him, but no part of him could hate her for it.

[Nayt]

For a long time, Akizetsumei looked Eld in the eyes. For that time, there was silence between them. But it ended when she broke from his gaze. It was clear by then that her eyes were starting to water. She was tearing up, regardless of how much she tried to avoid it. She looked down at the earth. She didn't want him to see her tearing up like this. With his hands upon her shoulders and him capturing her gaze, a concept came to her mind again, one that had visited her heart dozens of times before now. One she had to get off her chest.

"E-- Eldridge, I--"

She hesitated. But that was it. She couldn't do that anymore. If she hesitated, she'd never say it. Akizetsumei no longer had a sliver of confidence backing her, but she needed to say this. It was the whole reason she asked Eld to come up here. It was something she needed him to know.

"I wanna be with you!" she exclaimed, perhaps louder than necessary, but Akizetsumei wasn't in control of her feelings right now. She was upset and confused, lost in an emotional haze that she couldn't pull herself out of. It felt like all hope was lost. That only one thing could pull her out of it, and she'd already pushed that away and made it-- him --hate her.

It was out now, though. She'd finally said it, and just as there was no misunderstanding something so to the point, there was no taking it back, either. She knew that, and if she had hesitated any longer, she'd have never said it. But that was it. That was what needed to be said. That's what she needed Eld to know. If he hated her and never wanted to see her again, then at least he knew this much. And if he ever wondered why it had never come up before, and why she wanted to cry just at the thought of this, he'd soon know this much, as well:

"B-- but-- but I-- I--" she sniffled, "I can't. An-- and that's why I've-- I've been so horrible . . ."

[Zach Kaiser]

When he heard her say she wanted to be with him, Eld's heart leaped and started beating a million times faster than before. He felt the same way, and was about to say so when she spoke again. Even if he knew why, even though he suspected this would be the case, he couldn't help but feel crushed.

Despite that, he said what he'd been about to anyway. "I want to be with you too," he whispered. And then added, "But...you see things, don't you? Bad things, about me..." It was only a guess, but it wasn't hard to figure out, even if no one explicitly told him. The way she reacted to him--and as far as he knew, only him--said as much.

[Nayt]

And . . . and he wanted to be with her, too . . . It was a cruel reality, this. They could be together, but Akizetsumei couldn't do it. She felt so horrible right now, yet despite this, she no longer felt the need to cry. Eld's words soothed her enough in that right . . .

"It's all a dream," she whispered.

If I were real . . .

"It's all just a dream. This's all just a dream. Nothin' . . . nothin' feels real anymore. The grass, the water, the air . . . it's not there. You're not here. M-- my family is-- they're not here, either. They're dead. Where they're real, they're dead. A-- and where you're real, you killed them."

It was an echo from when she first awoke, when Toushikyo and Eld waited for her to awaken, and she was absolutely terrified of Eld.

"B-- but I'm not there, either. Because I'm dead, too. Tha-- that dream is . . . it's the only thing that feels real anymore. When I wake up, that's where I am. I-- I can't get it outta my head, and it-- it makes all this feel so . . . so . . ." Akizets lifted her gaze to helplessly stare into Eld's eyes, ". . . empty. I'm dreaming and I know I'm dreaming, so . . . so none of its real, and everything tells me its not . . ."

To dream, but not dream. She was a wandering dreamer, stuck somewhere between reality and something else, unable to claim either as her home. No matter how much her brother reassured her, she was alone on this road to Unreality. She was alone and she was fake. A figment. She was making sense in her own right. This was how she genuinely felt right now. But through the senselessness of it all, it was very clear why she felt so lost.

"I just . . . I want . . ."

She had more to say. Something hanging at the edge of her heart, weighing against the fog of emotions and memories, pushing against her to cry out. But she was so meek now, so driven into the ground by the will to run away and cry alone somewhere, that it took a moment for that weight to build, but it was very clear that she had more to say. She was running through it with her lips, parting them to form a word, but failing in the midst of it. But she was trying . . .

[Zach Kaiser]

"W-What?" he gasped, taking a half-step back out of shock.

He'd guessed as much, back after Akizetsumei first recoiled from him. But guessing and knowing were two different things. He wasn't prepared to hear it so plainly; he didn't see how it could be possible. Why would he ever kill any of the Terras? How could even possibly kill anyone? And on top of it all, Akizetsumei said that she was dead in this dream of hers, something that he'd never have guessed.

And then a thought came to Eld that made his blood run cold. Did I...kill her? It was an impossible; never, in this world or in a dream or any other place could ever do that, not in this lifetime, not in any.

...But what if he had?

[Nayt]

"I . . ." she tried again.

In another time, in another world . . .

The woman's words rang through her head again as they'd done so many times in the past. If Akizetsumei shut her eyes, she'd have seen her again. Lying there in Eld's arms, on the verge of losing her existence, telling happy stories about all the things she remembered. But she knew she was fading, and no matter how happy she was to remember, there was an air of sadness there. She wanted to be real, like Eldridge. She never touched reality, not once in her whole life, and she wanted to-- with him. She wanted to be real with Eldridge.

. . . do you think . . .

She wanted what Akizetsumei nearly had. Before the dreams, she was happy. Nothing was a dream. It was here and it was perfect. She was with Eld and she was happy. But that was gone, replaced by a horrible fog of loneliness and unreality. Akizetsumei hated it. She wanted more than anything to have it all back. She continued to gaze into Eld's eyes, trying to lose herself there, trying to find something that wasn't a dream . . .

"I want to feel real again . . ." Akizetsumei said at long last.

She'd only admitted this, all of this, to one person: Eld. And in doing so, whether she intended to or not, she was pleading with him. She was lost in a dream with only one way out. One person that could wake her . . .

[Zach Kaiser]

A waking nightmare. Those were the words Toushikyo had used to describe what it was he felt, and Eld had little doubt it applied to Akizetsumei as well. He remembered what he'd been told that day; that he couldn't help her unless she wanted it. Well if she didn't want help now, he didn't think she ever would.

"Akizetsumei...you are real," he said, taking a step forward. "I'm real, and all this is real." There was only one thing he could think of, one thing to that could make her feel real again. He took her hands into his, entwining his fingers with hers. "I'll prove it to you."

And then he leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, putting his entire being, the pain and confusion, the joy and love, and everything he felt for her, which was more than he could ever hope to put into words, into a single kiss...

[Nayt]

Do you think, if I were real, we would have been friends?

Akizetsumei watched Eld's face-- his eyes and his lips --as he spoke to her. She was waiting, hoping, and longing for something. What, she didn't know, but she'd asked Eld to come out here for a reason. She was driven to. It hadn't made much sense to her earlier, but it felt like the only thing she could do . . .

When Eld leaned forward, Akizets did not resist. She did not step back or pull away from him even in the slightest. No, she continued to watch him, lock her eyes with his, and question this all. The last of the orange glow of a setting sun was disappearing, and Eldridge Tsukimono was about to kiss her. It would have been a cruel joke for fate to play if this was the end of it all; if everything changed, and again she found this to be a dream. She would have cried endlessly, knowing only a want to return to this. A want to wake up.

But this was no dream. This . . . This was real. Eld leaned forward and placed his lips upon hers. And suddenly, there was an answer to that lingering question:

You are real. These feelings are proof. And we are friends.

Akizetsumei shut her eyes, took in a breath from her nostrils and leaned lightly into Eld. With her heart swimming in a sea of uncertainty, just in reach of land, reason, and reality, Akizetsumei returned Eld's kiss.

[Zach Kaiser]

Akizetsumei returned the kiss. She didn't pull back, or run away from him, or break down into screaming. Eld closed his eyes, and savored the softness of her lips. It was a pure feeling, this kiss; he felt strongly for her, and there was no confusion in his mind about it.

After what seemed like an eternity he gently pulled away, and looked at her tenderly. "Did that feel real?" he asked. He could only pray that it did, that it would erase any doubts from her mind about which world was true, which one she belonged in.

[Nayt]

Not having the slightest clue what she was doing or how she was doing it, Akizets pressed her lips against Eld's in return. She was gentle and dainty, hesitant but willing. The feel of Eld's lips and the knowledge of this proximity, felt genuine. All the fog in her heart loosened its hold. She was able to think and reflect, go back to the happier times. Think about the now. The happy moment she was currently experiencing. What was essentially her first kiss. This was a landmark in a girl's life, the kind of personal historic moment that a girl could never, ever forget.

By the time Eld pulled away, Akizetsumei's heart was fluttering a mile a minute. She was wide eyed and awed by the moment. She felt like if she breathed, this would all disappear. But it felt too real to disappear. She could still taste Eld's lips. She could still feel him in her proximity and she could still see him, hear him, and smell him. He was here and he was real. More real than the Eld that killed her family. More real than that nightmare she'd had time in time again. Akizets took the risk and breathed . . .

And Eld did not disappear. This was real. Eld really kissed her. He wanted to be with her and he kissed her. Akizetsumei felt a stalwart need to explode into a fit of uncontrollable giggling, but now was not the time for that.

"Y-- yeah, i--" Akizetsumei wet her lip bashfully, "I-- it did."

And for the first time in what felt like eternity, Akizetsumei of Terra smiled.

[Zach Kaiser]

And Eld too smiled, finally one without any reservations. Seeing Akizetsumei's smile was just as good as kissing her; for the first time in a while, it felt like things would actually be alright. It wasn't just a faint hope, but a real possibility. "I'm glad."

He couldn't help but glance at the dimming horizon, though. "As much as I want to stay up here and kiss you all night, I think we've had enough adventures in the woods after dark," he noted, as a way of suggesting they should probably get back. This close to town they probably weren't in any danger, but he really didn't want to risk running into wolves again.