And the World Shall Forget You

[Nayt]

"Ts-- Tsukimono-kun, pr-rease . . ."

Don't apologize.

That was the last thing she wanted. Eld didn't need to feel horrible about this. This . . . wasn't his fault. Well, not entirely. Romance was a two way street. She kissed him first. She continued to kiss him when he returned her affections. She let all this happen. She was just as much at fault as he was, if not more. At least, that's how Etsu felt now. No matter how much she should have been mad at him-- how much she would have been angry with him if this happened a week ago or earlier --Etsu couldn't bring herself to be upset with him. She was far more upset with herself, but she wasn't going to vent that right now.

Maybe in a few weeks . . .

"It is-- it is just--" she gulped.

Etsu needed to console this boy, and if possible, set him straight. They couldn't do this anymore. It had to stop and it had to stop permanently. She just wasn't the one for him. Eld couldn't look her in the eyes at his own volition, but when Etsu brought a hand from his shoulder to his chin and gently pushed up, it would be very clear to him that she wanted him to look her in the eyes. To see how sincere she was and how much she did not hate him.

After all, if Etsu were upset with him, she'd have never been this gentle or borderline comforting. She'd have just slapped him and sojourned to the tent alone and forbade him from even thinking about coming in after her.

"This is not what you want," she said ruefully, "I am not who you want."

[Zach Kaiser]

Etsu would be able to see Eld's eyes widen as she lifted his face. He had assumed he had pushed her way too far, that she considered him invasive and had confirmed all her fears that he was some kind of raging pervert. That she didn't even seem mad at him was mind-boggling...though, it was relieving.

Though, he wasn't sure what to think about him not wanting her being her main objection.

Of course, she was talking about Akizetsumei. I'm really terrible, aren't I? he thought. While they'd never actually started going out, he did have feelings for her--and she for him, he was fairly certain. But now she didn't even want to look at him, and he wondered if there was still any chance with her at all.

With a sigh, he leaned his head back against the tree. "I...I don't know what I want right now."

[Nayt]

Etsu would have been much more reassuring if she felt less . . . bad. Guilty, regretful, and morally depraved. She might well have been the one reassured if Eld hadn't needed it much more than she.

"You want to her-rp her," Etsu replied.

That's why they were here. They were here for Akizetsumei and Toushikyo. They were here to help them, somehow. To look for a caretaker of this Graveyard of Memories and ascertain some meaning behind the curses of their friends. They were here to save them.

"And when you her-rp her, you want to be with her," Etsu continued.

It was a simple observation, and one she should have concluded back when they all went swimming. The way Eld and Akizets clung to each other should have made it painfully obvious, but Etsu-- perhaps by unconscious choice --remained oblivious until it was too late.

She pulled away from Eld further until no portion of skin touched. She felt much drier, at least, so she was fine removing herself from the sanctity of the blanket. What little sanctity was there, at least. Sitting a couple feet farther from Eld, Etsu didn't bother covering herself up. There was kind of no point in that, now. He'd already felt her all over. Instead, she sat up straight, hands in her lap, and looked for a reaction from Eld. Hopefully a positive one, of course . . .

[Zach Kaiser]

"I want to help her, but..." He hesitated, but he realized there wasn't much point in trying to hide it. "...she won't even look at me right now. Even if she gets better, she probably won't want anything to do with me." It was clear he was in a rather pessimistic mood right now.

"Not that it changes that I want to help her," he added quickly, "but...well..." He didn't finish, and didn't feel the need to. There was a chance (a large one in his mind) that whatever happened to Akizetsumei, whatever she'd seen while she'd been unconscious, had wiped away whatever desire she might have had to be with him.

Maybe that's why Toushikyo didn't bring it up yesterday...I figured he'd grill me pretty hard about admitting I like her. But of course, if a relationship was impossible anyway, he had no reason to be worry at all.

While he was certainly still rather confused (which was understandable), Etsu had at least succeeded in cheering him up enough that he realized she probably felt just as strange as he did right now. "Umm...are you really okay with this?" While "this" indicated the present situation, specifically what about it was left up to her interpretation.

[Nayt]

Eld was still pessimistic, but there was only so much more she could do about that. Honestly, she could understand why he'd feel pretty bad about it all. She felt very similar when she thought Eld had forgotten about her. She was upset. But she took it differently than how Eld was taking this situation with Akizets, obviously. Speaking of . . .

"This?" Etsu asked.

She averted her eyes from him and frowned slightly. No, she wasn't exactly okay with this, but what could she do? Go back in time and take it all back? That wasn't an option, and while she may have felt better in the short run, she might not have in the long run.

"It . . . it is fine," she replied meekly, "We were not meant to be."

That in itself was the cruel realization from earlier. That she never really stood a chance with Eld, even if he didn't hate her after the big revelation.

"It is fine," she said again.

[Zach Kaiser]

At first Eld was about to accept it at face value; she said it was fine, and she may have been a little uncomfortable, but that was-

Wait, what does she mean "not meant to be?"

He stared at her for a moment, wondering if he was really inferring that right. But he couldn't think of any other way she could have meant it. So, forced himself to ask. "Etsu...do you mean...you want to be with me?"

That thought sent a fresh blush across his face. He could see the "not meant to be" part regarding the arranged marriage that never happened, but it hadn't occurred to him that after everything she might have ended up wanting to go out with him anyway.

[Nayt]

Later on, Etsu might look back on her double take and laugh. It bordered on humorous how quickly she fell from dramatic and emotive to incredulous and shocked. But seriously, how could Eld be so stupid? And suddenly, it was like she had stepped back by a week, except without any true enmity towards Eld. Instead, she merely had the willingness to shout at him for doing something incredibly silly.

Sort of like believing she had no want to be his girl. Of course she wanted to be his girl!

"B-baka!" she exclaimed meekly.

Honestly, he deserved to be called an idiot. That was easily the worst misunderstanding she'd ever experienced. Seriously, was his love life so bad that he couldn't recognize when a girl wanted to be with him? And it was so blunt, too. How could he be so daft to misinterpret a kiss? And then the willingness to let him grope around and feel her up and do all sorts of things she was hesitant to even think about, let alone allow someone to do to her?

"Why wour-rd I kiss you if I did not!" Etsu exclaimed a bit louder that time, but it was pretty clear that she wasn't really upset with him. He was just being silly and she was taking it upon herself to correct him harshly for it.

[Zach Kaiser]

That was indeed the normal assumption most people would make; that normally, people only kiss (or do more) if they're dating or at least interested in dating each other. The problem was that Eld's relationships weren't terribly normal.

"W-Well, usually, but sometimes people kiss and stuff when they're just really good friends," he protested. Not that he was truly insulted, but in a way this was alright. Falling back into this kind of interaction with Etsu was comfortable, normal even.

Unfortunately, he didn't realize he may have been giving away to Etsu a secret he'd been trying to keep, namely that he up until recently had that very kind of relationship with a close friend of his.

[Nayt]

". . . no," Etsu said with a shake of her head, "No, they do not."

If they did, she'd certainly have heard of it happening more often. And if it was so acceptable, she wouldn't have heard such horrible names for girls that willingly entered such relationships. Gods be damned, was she going to have to actually explain this to Eld? It seemed so . . .

"Peopr-re that do that are r-roose. They are not wer-rr r-riked by so-cie-ty," Etsu explained frankly, "It is very wrong to have that rer-ration-ship."

Then, as she concluded that, Etsu realized something. This . . . this was not good. She wrinkled her brow and let her eyes fall judgmentally upon Eld's face.

"Do not ter-rr me you have been r-rike that, Tsukimono-kun."

[Zach Kaiser]

Eld's eyes widened suddenly, realizing he'd said a little too much in his own defense. No, he really didn't want Etsu to know about him and Sarah. Especially right now. And especially because she clearly disapproved of such a thing.

He quickly looked away in an attempt to hide his reaction, but it was probably too late. "T-That really isn't important here, is it?" he said stubbornly. Of course, if Etsu thought it was important than he was in a bit of trouble. She'd probably pester him or somehow trick him into giving up the information, and that was assuming she didn't just figure it out herself.

"I don't know about you but I'm pretty dry...we could probably go into the tent and change." It was a rather obvious attempt to change the subject, but he could only pray Etsu went with it anyway.

[Nayt]

Honestly, the nerve of this boy . . .

"And now I wonder what I see in you," Etsu declared promptly. If she had the foresight right now to do it, she would have put her nose in the air in the haughtiest way possible. And of course it would've been on purpose. She was actually trying to tease him.

But that said, she got up and acknowledged Eld's change of topic by formally directing herself to the tent. Whether or not Eld followed her in didn't matter. It wasn't like she was going to be removing anything. The bra was definitely coming off, but only after she had a shirt on over it. Etsu didn't want Eld getting any ideas now that he was thinking about incredibly immoral things like friends with benefits.

Regardless, once Etsu was in the tent, she rummaged around through her clothes until she found a good pair of loose fitting sweatpants and her favorite black tank top, which she pulled her arms into and unhooked her bra behind her back, which she subsequently pulled off of her once she had her arms back through the spaghetti straps of the shirt again.

[Zach Kaiser]

Even if she was just teasing him, it was kind of mean for Etsu to say that. It wasn't like he'd cheated on anybody or anything. (It didn't occur to him that she wasn't aware of that part.)

He followed her to the tent after hanging the blanket they'd used to dry, and for a few seconds remained outside before realizing that they were only putting clothes on and there was really no need to separate.

His own choice of clothing consisted of a simple gray, long sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. It was probably fortunate that he didn't notice Etsu taking her bra off, as that would have likely led his mind to bad things again.

"Well...what now?" he asked slightly awkwardly.

[Nayt]

Etsu slouched in the tent, propping her pillow up and leaning against it and the rest of her stuff. She folded her hands over her belly and crossed her legs at her calves. Now was a great time to be lazy. Emotional duress was over for now and she could just relax.

And yes-- yes, it was completely over. There was no possible way this was going to ever come up again. Nope. No way, no how. Etsu was washing her hands of it.

"I do not know," she said to him.

Her default idea was to find that book and get back into it. She hadn't the chance to read too much this morning, after all. She could read some more. Unless Eld had a better idea.

[Zach Kaiser]

Eld didn't know either, which was the problem. Normally he'd have no issues with just relaxing and lounging around for a bit, but right now he needed something to distract him. If he didn't get something, he'd keep thinking about what just happened, or what that might have led to, or that Etsu was wearing a fairly low cut tank top that showed she must have taken her bra off at some point...

Stop that.

He decided he needed to say something, anything; if got Etsu to talk to him, then at least it would focus his mind a little. So he just said the first thing that came to his mind. "S-So...uh...you said you liked me. Umm...does that mean, when we...well...you know...that you enjoyed it?"

He made a mental note to never say the first thing that came to his mind ever again.

[Nayt]

If Eld had been any more hesitant with his question, Etsu would have been thoroughly confused by what he was trying to get her to say. But she understood fully, and--

"N-nani desu ka?!" Etsu cried.

--she was not particularly appreciative. There was no way he just asked that. No way! That was just the worst. It was rude and invasive and it was no way to talk to a girl!

"Th-that is none of your . . ." she began, but couldn't quite finish what she was saying as a frog leaped up in her throat, prompted by her actually considering his question.

Instead of answer immediately, she folded her arms over her chest and averted her eyes from him. A couple minutes of awkward silence passed between them, and it would likely be equally as awkward for the both of them, for as much as Eld would probably regret his question, Etsu actually considered it. After all, there was a point where she recognized that it was good. That she genuinely enjoyed what was happening. At that point, all her thoughts of morality were completely ignored and tossed to the side. At that point, her only reservations were in regards to Eld's relationship with Akizetsumei and how their going any further might harm that.

The ultimate surprise, perhaps to the both of them (but definitely to herself, at least), was that the end of those couple minutes of silence was marked by Etsu actually answering his question.

". . . I did," she whispered, only to add "Why?" as an afterthought.