by Zombzeh Nayt-o! on Mon Aug 31, 2009 5:52 pm
Okay, fine. I'll actually write up something of a list. It won't be a full thing, though. I don't hate myself enough to actually try that.
1. Memories. I have a lot of these characters, so I'll lump them into one category. Not only do they live for only four years, but they come to exist knowing that, not only do they have no afterlives, but they can't make any permanent mark on history. They're not even permanent in the memories of those they meet, and they have to live their lives knowing this. This is a fundamental fear of all human beings that have ever been and ever will be, if not the most primal of fears.
2. Edii Terkins, Levis, Vermelha, Exitus, Ven, and the twelfth disciple. Did they all deserve thousands of years of constant punishment? No, not entirely. Did they all receive almost five millenniums of horrible punishments? Quite so.
3. Ishi Kato. Raped at thirteen. Sporadically beaten for years following. Continuously struggles to survive in a world that unnaturally wants her to die. Is so mentally warped by this point that she'll never be a complete human being ever again. There's nothing more to say.
4. Saqin Rasche/Death. Nothing has ever gone right for him--nothing outside of killing, that is. Outside of a few completely inconsequential hobbies, dealing death is the only thing he is good at. Very few things in life can satisfy him, even. This doesn't mean that Saqin enjoys fighting, however. In truth, he doesn't particularly enjoy being an all around bastard or the bane of everyone's existence, but he acknowledges himself as a necessary evil and exists accordingly.
5. Icsorue Jaini Lahmendt. This poor woman has been used to assassinate innocent people for as long as she can remember, and it wasn't until only recently that she came to remember these assassinations. Some of those people were actually close to her, too . . .
6. Etsu Hikane. Etsu was abused, both verbally and physically, by her father up until she became a Reaper. She is, however, damned, regardless of what she does in her second shot at life.
7. Scott Thompson. See Etsu, except rather than being abused during his childhood, Scott has to live with the fact that he was an alcoholic for close to seven years, and abused his own children. Likewise, as he is dead, he'll never be able to make it up to his family.
8. Prez O'Connor. His life was great until he had to join an anti-Xexorian underground military to protect his family, only to be caught and tortured to death--and awaken some time later as an Enigma. Everything just went downhill from there . . .
9. Mizuki Kato. Discounting some of her bad decisions in life, this is a woman who's fought for the right to live since she was twelve years old. The difference between her and Ishi is that Mizuki has succeeded in fighting for that right more often.
10. Mimik. Despite her carefree and childish attitude, Mimi is someday bound to find out and understand that, prior to her consciousness as a shadeling, she consumed hundreds to thousands of people as a shade, ending not only their lives but their right to exist. Were she to ever be "exorcised" of these souls (and thus allowing everyone she killed as a shade to move on), it is a documented fact that she would not be capable of existing as she currently does. No character of mine in my history of writing and roleplaying will have ever hated themselves as much as Mimi will hate herself at that moment, and for whatever period of time there is to follow.
11. Eirez Jusinai. See Daniel below--except rather than failing to save most people he tries to help, Eirez accidentally kills them, more often than not, and loathes himself for it accordingly.
12. Daniel Kerington. Not only can he not remember any times of his life that were remotely good, but he has to live with the knowledge that 95% of the people he tries to save will die anyways. This isn't a literal "the person will die in a few years anyways, because she's old" matter, as it is a matter of saving a person from a murderer, but consistently too late to keep the person from being fatally wounded.
13. Daisuke Tetsuken. His father and best friend were killed and he's devoted himself to revenge. Revenge hounds aren't usually happy people. Incidentally, Daisuke was never really a happy person to begin with; he both hates and loves things that feel like a burden to him, and can't live without acting with a sense of obligation to someone other than himself.
14. Mayako Takamine. So what if she came from a privileged, religious household? So what if she never had an economic worry in her life, or even a situation of physical or verbal abuse from her parents? Not only was she inevitably orphaned at sixteen, but all her peers that were ever close to her have abandoned her--except one, who, despite being an emotional burden on Mayako, is the only thing keeping her from losing touch with reality.