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All the better; all the worse . . .

Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Nayt on Mon May 31, 2010 2:17 am

"N-no, um, i-it's okay," Akizets replied meekly, "I-- I was kinda just, um, lostinthought, you know?"

Well, she didn't want him to be sorry for something! Sure, he maybe could have given her a little bit more warning, but she could have paid a little more attention, too!

"N-no, I-- I'm okay, thankyouthough," she squeaked nervously.

She wasn't so much spooked now as she was nervous and afraid, for one simple problem befell her: she'd forgotten everything she'd come up with as conversation pieces. She'd thought up dozens! But now they were all gone. Akizets spent seconds trying to wrack her brain for them. She thought up buzz words and important terms, but those didn't bring anything back. She was at a loss. Completely lost. Defeated, she sulked her head and shoulders, if only for a moment. She straightened up soon after, though, and tried to think up something--and fast.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Zach Kaiser on Mon May 31, 2010 2:25 am

"Okay. If you want something, don't hesitate to ask," he said with a smile.

And with that, he opened up the text book in his lap, and set his notebook on the bed next to him, occasionally jotting something down in it--usually especially important ideas, or things he felt he was likely to forget.

If Akizetsumei cared to look, she'd be able to see that the textbook was on psychology--though whether that meant anything to her or not was another matter. It certainly wasn't the kind of subject they'd have taught at local school.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Nayt on Mon May 31, 2010 2:50 am

For awhile, Akizets was completely silent--and so was Eld, it seemed. She continued trying to wrack her brain for conversation material, and likewise continued failing to gather such materials. It soon became something of a futile effort, and many a defeatist perspective claimed her thoughts.

Well, at least he's here, was one defeatist thought that crossed her mind.

No! That wasn't good enough at all! Well . . . actually, the very fact that Eld even gave her the time of day was more than good enough, it was great, but he was here and she was here and they were both dead silent. Akizets looked over to Eld, to his face and then to his book.

I wonder what he's studying.

That was why he was here, right? That's what she invited him to do, to come over and study, so they both weren't alone--and then neither of them would be lonely and he'd still do something productive. Akizets couldn't help but wonder about the subject, though. She didn't recognize the front cover. She furrowed her brow as she focused and tried to figure if she'd ever heard the name on the cover before. She hadn't, though, and she couldn't really see any words on the pages from where she was.

And so, to see the text in the book, Akizetsumei leaned over. This ultimately failed. She was practically out of bed by the time she totally gave up on trying. She was leaning on her left hip as the only leverage keeping her in bed, whilst the rest of her from the hips up was leaned over the bed and towards Eld. She was so blatantly trying to read over his shoulder that it'd be impossible for him not to notice after awhile. It'd be especially impossible when she finally said something, shortly after she gave up. Akizets hadn't yet leaned back, either, even though putting pressure on her left leg was starting to hurt.

"U-ummmm, whatcha studying?" she asked with the utmost innocent curiosity. She almost didn't nervously stumble over her words that time, but she might have, had she been able to see how silly she must have looked right then and there.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Zach Kaiser on Mon May 31, 2010 3:01 am

For awhile, the only sounds Eld made were the scratching of his pen on the notebook and occasional flipping of a page. He read at a fairly impressive rate, at least for someone from Hillcrest, easily comparable to her brother Toushikyo. For the most part his expression remained focused and serious, his brow occasionally furrowing if he had difficulty with a suggestion, or his face lightening a bit when he read something particularly interesting.

It wasn't long, though, before he noticed Akizetsumei straining to look at the book--and while he didn't object to her interest, he did object to the way she was straining herself. "H-Hey, don't do that, you'll hurt yourself again," he warned hurriedly. It wasn't until she obeyed that he'd answer her question properly.

"It's psychology." After a few moments he realized that she had no idea what that was, so he tried his best to explain. "It's basically...the study of how the mind works. How people think."

He leaned over and held the book so she could see it--though again, this probably wouldn't do much good. The reading was too difficult for most people Eld's age, let alone Akizetsumei's.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Nayt on Mon May 31, 2010 3:20 am

It was only when Eld told her to stop straining herself that Akizetsumei realized the position she was in and just how silly it must have looked. She almost instantly recoiled and sat in her bed in a completely normal way, her cheeks already quite flushed to match her embarrassment. That was entirely unintentional. She'd just stopped thinking about how far she was going to get a peek at Eld's book--and bam, there she was, practically leaning over onto Eld's bed. She might have done it, too, if she were taller!

Naturally, Eld's one word explanation went completely over her head. Akizetsumei was not a dumb girl in any right, but she wasn't the scholarly type like Eld and Toushikyo. She usually only learned the bare minimum to get by and scarcely bothered much with school; she wasn't truant, and that was about all. Needless to say, she'd never heard the word "psychology" before, let alone a definition for it.

The second explanation made a bit more sense, though. Akizets furrowed her brow again and tapped her index finger against her lower lip in thought.

"How the mind . . . works?" she asked rhetorically.

This prompted the girl to give that some serious thought. She'd learned a bit in public school, but that was years ago. She'd probably forgotten just as much as she learned! But Akizets could've sworn that sort of subject was never covered in school, and she was feeling a bit disappointed in that. Now that she thought about it, the mind was really a curious thing. It was kind of amazing to think that a bunch of scrunched up noodles could actually allow her the right of inner monologue. She couldn't for the life of her imagine an explanation for this.

So she looked to Eld.

"How does it work?" Akizetsumei asked, sincerely curious.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Zach Kaiser on Wed Jun 02, 2010 10:27 pm

"Well, that's the thing," Eld replied. "They don't know for sure, and there's a few different theories."

"One theory seems to be that the human mind isn't that different from an animal's. By using rewards and punishment, you can cultivate-" He paused. If he spoke like a serious student, much of what he said was going to go over Akizetsumei's head. He reorganized his thoughts before he continued. "Basically, that when something we do has a result we like, we're more likely to do it again--and if it has a result we don't, we're less likely."

"Another theory is...well...hmm...." This theory was a bit less straightforward, and there were certain details of it he didn't particularly want to share to a younger girl, so he had to think creatively. "Have you ever read a story where a person had a little angel on their shoulder telling them to act one way, and a devil on the other telling them another? Well, it's kind of like that--there's a part of the brain that urges you to be impulsive and selfish, and another part that urges the opposite, and a part that takes both into account and decides what to do."

"There's a whole lot of them...some don't make much sense to me yet, so I have to take a fair amount of notes," he admitted kind of sheepishly.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Nayt on Wed Jun 02, 2010 10:46 pm

Okay, all this stuff kind of went over Akizetsumei's head. It was as bad as a cannoneer with no depth perception. Of course, some of it made sense. The whole conditioning thing, that made sense in a ground breaking sort of way. Eld almost blew the girl's mind with that one. She could actually recall times in which she was punished for something, and therefore stopped doing that. But then once he started talking about parts of the brain that dictated desires over reason and all that sort . . . well, he started to lose her.

"Ummm, that sounds really hard . . ." Akizetsumei trailed off.

Tough subjects in school were not her forte. She could learn them. She could learn about psychology, too. It was just a matter of toughness. If it was going to take time for her to wrap her mind around, the girl usually moved on to something else, instead, usually something she had a better skillset for.

"Wh-which means you must be really smart, huh?" she deduced sheepishly.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Zach Kaiser on Tue Jun 08, 2010 12:08 am

"W-Well..." Eld rubbed the back of his head bashfully. It would have been a lie if he said he didn't consider himself to be smart, and would have had no problem saying as much if it had been, say, Sarah making the observation. However, the last thing he wanted was to make Akizetsumei feel dumb.

"In a way, I guess; but I'm no genius like Emily is. If I'm smart, it's because I work hard at it. I want to be a doctor like my parents, and someday take over this clinic." The implication being that she could be just as smart if she worked hard at it too.

Deciding he'd talked enough about himself, he attempted to change the subject to Akizetsumei. "You're out of school now, right? Do you know what you want to do?"
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Nayt on Tue Jun 08, 2010 1:43 am

As she thought! This was actually a double edged sword. Eld was twice as endearing. He was decisive and intelligent. He knew what he was doing with his life and what he needed to do to get there. He needed study and hard work, and that was exactly what he was doing until opportunity came his way. It was wonderful. The only drawback, of course, was how she looked compared to him, and the likelihood that he'd rather hang around someone that wasn't quite as goal oriented as he. Akizetsumei was both endeared and afraid, simultaneously.

These thoughts came to culmination when Eld asked about her in particular. That was the ultimate question, really. The one question she never wanted to answer, not to strangers, not to acquaintances, and especially not to someone she liked in this sort of way.

"Uh, um," Akizets paused; if only for a brief moment, she was drawn into a downtrodden melancholy, but she quickly picked back up to a chipper and cheerful mood. "Y-yeah! Totally!"

She failed to say what, though.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Zach Kaiser on Tue Jun 15, 2010 5:29 pm

Eld gave her a thoughtful look. He felt that her reply wasn't entirely sincere; it seemed like a silly thing to lie about, though, so he wasn't entirely sure if that was the case. Even if he'd been certain he wasn't sure calling her out on it would be a good course of action.

So instead he said, "That's good, but it's fine if you don't. Not everyone has a path laid out before them like I do."
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Nayt on Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:32 pm

It was . . . touchy, yes. It wasn't that she seemed all that upset to talk about it, but openly embarrassed. Kids her age were supposed to know what they wanted to do with their lives. They were supposed to already be pursuing it somehow. They weren't supposed to be treating everyday like it's a summer vacation. Akizetsumei suddenly got the strange urge to apologize to Eld-- an urge she almost immediately gulped down, as that would've seemed totally pathetic and winy, and she'd probably start spilling her guts right then and there.

"S-so, um, so . . ." Akizets trailed off.

She fought desperately to find a different subject matter. If she stuck to this one, she was definitely going to wind up apologizing, and the last thing she wanted to do was look pathetic in front of this boy.

"Wh-what, um," she hesitated--only to pause and realize that she was sitting in a topic of conversation: the clinic. "What do you gotta do to take over the clinic?"

Akizets looked Eld in the eyes again and displayed sincere interest in the subject matter.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Zach Kaiser on Tue Jun 15, 2010 7:37 pm

"W-Well, umm..." He hesitated for a second, because he'd attempted to steer the subject away from himself, but she veered it right back to him. Not that he normally minded talking about himself, but the way she was impressed by what he said made him feel like he was bragging, even if that wasn't his intention.

But it was ruder to refuse to answer, especially when his only reason for doing so would have been because he felt vaguely self-conscious. "R-Right now, mostly just study and help out my parents. When I turn eighteen I'll apply to a medical school...probably the Greoulian University." It was likely even Akizetsumei knew of it; it was one of the most prestigious schools in the world, and often mentioned by teachers. "Then I'll spend the next several years in school, until I can graduate and pass a test to prove I know enough to be a doctor, and then...well, I suppose I'll come back here and parents can retire."

Truthfully, this was a tentative plan at best, as it presupposed a lot of thing: that Eld would pass the test to get into a very discriminating school, that he would be able to keep up at said school despite limited formal education--not to mention being able to live in a foreign country for several years.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Nayt on Tue Jun 15, 2010 7:49 pm

"W-whooa! Are you serious?" Akizetsumei cried in a hush.

While it was one thing that Eld was an intelligent person, it was another thing that he set his goals this high. The Greoul University of Medicine was one of the most prestigious medical schools in the world. It'd been destroyed, along with most of Greoul, a long, long time ago, but it was rebuilt and back to its former glory long before Eld's parents were even born. It was such a choosy school, too. One had to be two steps beyond brilliant to get in. Their teachers talked about schools like this during the last year of formal education. That whole year was practically devoted to preparing kids for the real world, and teaching them about all the stuff in life that was immediately ahead of them.

"Greoul University . . . that'd be so cool--just traveling the world like that!" she uttered in a rather optimistic way," Aww man, I really hope you get in~!"

Were it tomorrow he planned to apply and potentially leave, Akizetsumei would have been a little sad. But it was a couple years off--that was fine. It was too long for her to worry too much about.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Zach Kaiser on Tue Jun 15, 2010 8:25 pm

"W-Well, it's not really traveling the world, it'd just be moving once, but umm...well...thanks."

Blushing, Eld rubbed the back of his bashfully. He was used to either (fake) doubt about his ability to accomplish his dream or gentle admonitions that it would take a lot of work on his part. Not many people were openly optimistic about his chances.

"Honestly, I've never been all that far from here before, so the idea of moving to an entirely different country is sort of frightening," he admitted. He'd be on his own, separated from all his friends and family--save maybe Toushikyo, whom he suspected was shooting for the same school out of pride.
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Re: All the better; all the worse . . .

Postby Nayt on Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:11 pm

Eld's thanks seemed to make Akizets blush a bit, but rather than shying away, she smiled cheerily instead. She thought then that she said something good, something honest and kind that may have boosted Eld's opinion of her-- which was great, especially after that very brief "talk" about her future plans. Her optimism died down just a touch when Eld talked about her frightening it would be to be off alone in the world, even if it was only for a few years. She looked away and thought about it for a moment.

"Well . . ." she trailed off, "Yeah. Yeah, it really kinda is . . ."

There was no denying that. As much as Akizets wanted to see places beyond Hillcrest, she was no doubt afraid of being away from her brothers. She didn't know what she'd do if she ran into trouble without Toushikyo there to protect her, and she would've been so scared of leaving Oboreru out on his own-- just imagining the messes he'd get himself into was like a vivid nightmare.

"I, ummm, I really love my family," Akizets admitted openly; she had no problems with it. It simply wasn't anything she was ashamed of. "And, ummm, e-even though I, um, I don't really have any, um, anyfriends," the last part was uttered as meek and quick-like as possible, "I'd really hate to leave my family behind. It'd be super scary to be out there without them. T-to be out anywhere, anywhere outside this village. Just goin' to Galaens alone would be scary! B-ut-- but, um . . . I dunno . . ."

Akizets paused, but only to look to Eld and smile again.

"It'd also be really exciting."
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