by Nayt on Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:53 am
This was supposed to be in the past. It wasn't supposed to come up ever again. This is not how things were supposed to go between them!
But still, it was kind of flattering? In a weird sort of way. And the feeling was kind of mutual, too, for however much she loathed the idea of breaking morality, she already kind of did. As Etsu didn't ever give that sort of stuff any thought, she was no more a loose woman if she and Eld made out again right here and now, as they'd already done it once. Morality was an issue, yes, but it wasn't her main issue. Regardless, she could feel her cheeks becoming warmer at the thought of it. This only further enforced her need to keep her eyes averted from him.
It was a no-brainer that Eld enjoyed their momentary coupling. He wouldn't have been so into it if he didn't. The fact that he came out and said as much made it all the more different, though, for some reason or the rather. As embarrassing as it was to think of, it actually made her feel . . . good. It made her think that in the hypothetical situation, where their marriage was arranged and they were fully prepared to spend the rest of their lives together, Eld would have enjoyed her company in every way. Socially, emotionally, mentally, and sexually. It was a weird sort of assurance, but it was at least one happy thought in a field of confused ones.
"W-we-- we cannot," Etsu whispered.
The worst part about this was that it almost felt like Eld was trying to reason out if they could do that again, which really put Etsu in another moral dilemma. On one hand, it felt good. On the other, she felt mighty guilty by the end of it.
Meekly, she continued to reason out: "It-- it wour-rd-- it wour-rd hurt you and Akizetsumei-chan."
Among other things.