by Thorin on Fri Mar 09, 2012 6:14 am
Thorin was taken aback by her words, but he listened regardless. He often forgot that she had children of her own. Caela had given birth and he hadn't even really met her children. He saw them briefly with Igraine, but that had only been a few moments of an abrupt greeting. Shaking his head, he knew that she would return with him, but he had to face Igraine alone. Facing Igraine, also meant facing his treatment of her as of late. He wouldn't have anything to say in defense, except to show her that he was changing- hopefully for the better.
He chuckled when she lectured him on his faults. Could anyone have blamed him for his reaction to Igraine? Thorin knew he shouldn't have gotten so rough with her, but she would have ignored him otherwise. Arrogantly, he admired Caela's figure- especially her chest when he spoke to her. He acted distracted, as a man should when he sinned so flippantly. “She will have me again, do not worry. Even when she pushed me away with her fists, I could feel her wanting me. I'm not worried about being denied her bed.” Thorin shrugged and took the meat she offered. Devouring the flesh, he slowly regained a surge of strength. It wasn't enough to raise his blade, but it was adequate for a journey back to Ulster.
Even as a Vuri his arrogance would always be present. His arrogance was the one thing that clashed with Igraine's stubbornness. He had lived on his own, fending for himself, while Igraine had the comforts and luxury of a Queen. She didn't know true hardship, or the idea that she had to fight day by day to survive. While the court life was hard, there was nothing like living on the streets and being denied your heritage.
He could never call Igraine his “sister”. While she was by blood, it was an awkward thing to title her. Thorin knew that incest ran rampant in their family- Caela was proof of that with her bastard twins. In his mind, he knew that he had helped spawn another bastard child.
Thorin agreed on her terms of leaving. He didn't care what she had to do, but he wouldn't be the first one to speak to Igraine. Thorin knew the fury of women all too well. He might be seen as cowardly, but Igraine knew how to use a blade- he didn't want to see it in his chest before he could even greet her. “I need you to just speak with her. I wished our child dead and I threatened her servant. She's going to need some convincing on seeing me. I'm no longer tied to the Fae and she'll feel that.” Thorin paused, knowing his sister didn't know everything that had happened. His past was just as dark and his current events just as disturbing.
“I died Caela. I died when our father decided to let me bleed out in front of Igraine. I would have rather been left for dead, but Igraine wanted me alive- foolish as she is, she doesn't understand what Vuri are capable of- I will never be the same.” Thorin explained, wondering how much Caela knew. His family had an odd way of sharing information and the women seemed to always know. “Our bond was broken when I died.” He finished, thinking more on that imagery. His current death and rebirth was the reason why he couldn't see Vylrath in a different light.
He leaned against the door frame and studied her reaction. She had seen the worst in her lifetime, but she had once been a demonic being too. Caela would understand what he had felt and gone through for Igraine. It wouldn't be a pleasant realization, but he needed someone to relate. Igraine had failed in that, only feeling her own turmoil with his changing. She hadn't considered what he had gone through- in his view, Caela had been the closest one to understanding him.
“If she didn't carry my child, do you think she'd still want any connection with me? We have a desire Caela, not a companionship. She has only been inviting me to her bed. Since I have been there, my words are lost, even when she knew I was making the most sense about her safety. She is a pampered Princess, in a big world and she has no idea what this Unseelie King can do to her.” Thorin said, not backing away from his words. It was true that Igraine was spoiled and strong headed. She had servants at her beck and call- Blackburn was practically attached to her hip.
Thinking of the Unseelie King, made Thorin realize a grave mistake- he had left her exposed and helpless for the bastard. Sighing, he looked to Caela as if he finally understood. In his speech, he had pretty much expressed why he should have never left. She might have guards, but they would never have his abilities or connection with her.
Cursing, he wanted to throw his arms up in the air. Thorin wondered what he had accomplished by coming here and abandoning her. He had forged a new weapon, but what had he gained otherwise? Eventually, he would have to stop looking to others for answers and find them himself.
“I'm ready to go when you are....” Thorin muttered, disappointed in himself. His voice sounded defeated, his silence a sign that he finally saw the man he was supposed to be for Igraine.